I don’t play many fighting games, although I have in the past. I spent many, many quarters on Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat back in the day, but when things started getting crazy complex, I lost interest. Trying to remember 25 hit combos and countless special and finishing moves for dozens of characters isn’t something I consider fun. When I first experienced the Soulcalibur series on the GameCube with the release of Soulcalibur 2, it was like a breath of fresh air. The combat was a little more grounded, in that no one could shoot giant fireballs out of their wrists or freeze an opponent in mid-air, and it revolved around the use of weapons and various fighting styles. But best of all, moves are performed by combination of tapping and holding buttons, while pushing in different directions. Once I got a feel for the controls, I was able to use any character and do well with them. I was glad to see Soulcalibur IV kept the good stuff in tact, however it’s been a bit of a battle between love and “this is just silly” from the get-go.

Holy Tits Batman!

Soulcalibur IV - Ivy

Let’s get Ivy out of the way right off the bat. Someone got a little carried away with the boobs on that girl, and not in a good way. Like the next guy, I’m all for boobs. But there’s a limit, and Ivy crossed it 10 times over. It’s just not right. Not even in a funny sort of way. Ridiculous, is probably the best word to describe Ivy. But unfortunately, Ivy isn’t the only culprit in the gigantic tits department. Like most Japanese games that involve females, they’re all sporting what appear to be huge sacks of liquid, awkwardly tacked on their torso. Again, it’s just not right.

Sword Beats Fireball

While there’s not much in the way of realism when it comes to a Soulcalibur game, it is more grounded than most others. There are typically a few characters that can do quick teleports or insane flips that aren’t humanly possible, but for the most part, the combat is based on real world techniques.

Each character’s moves vary, but there are a set of common combinations that make jumping from one character to the next very easy. There’s no need to sit there and play as one character for hours on end in order to master their special moves and hit combos. While you could, it’s just not as necessary in this game as it is in others within the genre.

Character Creation Almost Saved the Game

Generally, I either can’t wrap my head around, or simply can’t stomach anything that could be labeled “very Japanese”. Soulcalibur has been an exception simply due to the excellent gameplay. Many of the characters are just plain silly, and the voiceovers and nothing short of painful to listen to. I actually mute the dialog audio setting so I can enjoy the game that much more. But in doing so, the announcer is also muted, which detracts from the experience a bit and leaves it feeling rather dry.

Thankfully, Soulcalibur IV comes packed with a pretty great character editor/creator. You can either edit an existing character or start fresh with your own. Each custom character is based on one of the main characters, so they will inhibit their movements along combos. The downside to the character creation is with the equipment and weapons obtaining stats. When you’re finished building your character, you can attribute special powers to them. The amount of power-ups they can handle is based on the equipment used. So if you really want to max out your character, you have to load them up with all sorts of stupid shit in order to build up their stats. So you’re left with the choice of having your character look good, but suck. Or look like an idiot and dominate the field.

Star Wars, WTF?

Soulcalibur IV - Star Wars

It’s cool and all, having a couple lightsaber wielding characters, but they really don’t fit in the Soulcalibur universe. Hopefully, from a marketing stand point it paid off.

Yoda is completely broken. He can’t be hit by most attacks and can’t be grabbed at all. You basically have to do low attacks the entire round, or hope to hit him in the air. The Apprentice is also pretty unbalanced, as he can shoot lighting.

Not Touching Online

I’m always a little weary of playing online, and it looks like I’ll be avoiding Soulcalibur IV’s online mode at all costs. After reading that one Ars Technica writer experienced a drop rate of 80% on matches he was about to win, along with the numerous other flaws, I’ll take a pass.

It’s a Rental

I bought the game on release day and played it significantly during the first week. The second week, my play time dropped to less than half. Here we are in the third week, and I haven’t touched it at all. Having beaten the story mode and arcade modes a couple dozen times each, I think I’ve got my fix. Granted, there’s still lots to be had – the new tower mode seems to be an undertaking and a half, but with the amount of great games on the horizon, the store credit is looking more appealing than more of the same battles.

3/ 5
Soulcalibur IV


The Original SoulCalibur is one of my all time favorite fighting games. I am really looking forward to playing this one, but haven’t had a chance to rent it yet. It sounds like everything I like about SoulCalibur, plus new features.

Also, I like huge-knockered video game chicks.

I have yet to play it, but it sounds like a step backward from SCII/III, which I’ve sunk countless hours into.

The bit about Yoda and The Apprentice is especially disheartening. I can deal with unrealistically endowed female characters a la Ivy (though I do agree that her boobs crossed a line a while back), but unbalanced characters make the game no fun, and there are a couple already who are leaning toward unfairly powerful and fast.

I’m not much for online play in the first place, so I guess I’m indifferent as to whether it works well or not, but it’s a shame that so many people are having bad experiences with it.

Anyway, I guess it’s good to hear that it’s still an easily playable game. That’s why I got into the series in the first place – I could play with my more experienced buddies and button-mash/experiment my way into learning a character without getting slaughtered.

"…huge sacks of liquid, awkwardly tacked on their torso."

Thank you. My sentiments exactly. I honestly don’t understand why so many game designers are so ignorant about the actual physics of breasts. They are patently not water balloons.

Soulcalibur IV is particularly bad, though, in the sheer "WTF?" department. What could have been titillating is instead merely ludicrous. Oh well. The actual fighting was fun once I realized that I wasn’t playing Ninja Gaiden II any more (you call that a jump?!), and it’ll make a decent option when people come to visit.

Funny you mentioned jumping. It seems every n00b to the series gets frustrated at first since there’s no jump button. While most characters can jump, it’s definitely not used, or rather abused as other fighting games do.

Sorry, but I’m just stopping by as a small breasted woman to say thank God you find those boobs ridiculous! Sheesh.

I agree, Ivy is stupid. I can’t play as her in the house and if a fight comes up I beat her in record time before the wife turns around and think I’m some twisted perv.

As for the game, I like it. I like it alot. I’ve always liked Soul Calibur (go figure) and I must admit the character creation is awesome. Just check YouTube for some cool ones.

I think this game (as with all beat em ups) comes into it’s own when playing against another human. I’ve played on Xbox Live and I will say from the outset, the serice needs alot of work. It’s bloody awful.

I do highly recommend this game though. If I could only buy one beat em up, this’d be it.

It’s always a little awkward when a female sees you playing the game and a character like Ivy, Shura or Setuska come up. My 9 year-old daughter was showing interest in the game and wanted to play with me, but I was a little hesitant for this very reason. I just mocked the characters whenever they were on screen and she quickly joined in the mockery.

One thing I really like is I can create a big buff dude and still give them Ivy’s Snake Sword. True he’ll do the occasional weird female move but it does mean I can master the weapon without looking dodgy.

Btw, did you end up creating any cool characters? If you did post them up on Flickr please 😀

Yeah, I had created 5 or 6. Went on a binge for a few days there. Didn’t take any photos and have already traded it in. Would have been cool if there was a way to share screenshots online.

I turned on the Japanese audio track. Yoda sounds a little messed up but it made the rest of the game considerably more enjoyable. The announcer stays in English too.

I debated doing that, but I figured it would just be all kinds of annoying. Should have tried that before I traded it in.

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