There’s Simply Not Enough Hours in the Day
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
It’s been a week since I’ve opened my feed reader and about the same since I last signed in to IM for longer than 2 minutes. My email client is only opened a couple times through-out the day and I have piles of stagnant emails dating back to June sitting in my inbox. I can’t recall the last time I had a conversation with a friend in the real world or even over the phone. WTF happened? Where did life go and why didn’t anyone tell me it was leaving? Shit, I would have baked a cake, had I known.
Seriously though, it’s almost to the point where I don’t know what to do with myself. Time is flying by and I can never seem to get everything done. I hardly do anything at all, outside of working and the daily family stuff. If it weren’t for my Xbox 360, I’d probably sit on my PC day and night. But at the same time, it’s almost painful to sit in this chair at times. Something’s definitely not quite right but I’ll be damned if I can put my finger on it.
Working mass hours is nothing new for me and in all honesty, I’ve put fewer hours in over the past month than any given month over the past couple years. I’ve got a lot more responsibility in regards to family stuff during the week as Deanna works evenings and I’m home with Hannah. She’s doing great with getting her homework done on her own, though. So that’s helped a lot and lets me plug away until it’s time to get dinner ready.
It’s strange being self employed. I recently booked my last project for 2006 - I should be totally stoked, right? Well, I’m not. It’s quite the opposite, actually. I feel as if I have this massive load on my back even though each project has sufficient time alloted and I even have some free time scattered through-out. It’s truly bizarre that I’m feeling the way I am. I’ve been in the opposite situation where I’ve only had one or two projects lined up and found that I was always worrying that I might not line up another one in time, and of course I would be in trouble financially. But thankfully that never happened. I’m pretty sure that a contributing factor is the fact that I can’t help people out with their projects for the foreseeable future. I’m filled with disappointment when I send a reply turning down a project. But the reason I can’t do is because I’m booked… so why do I feel disappointed? I’m totally baffled.
To stack another emotion onto the pile, I feel like I’m missing the boat big time. In what regard, I’m not entirely sure. I’m dying to redesign my site. I’m coming up on a year with this design (or variations of it, at least) and I feel like it appears to be held together with duct tape. Like I’ve tacked one too many things on and now it’s this cluttered mess. I want to do a complete overhaul and build it from the ground up with all of the sections and different types of content that I have now. When I built this one, I was basically just writing textual entries and didn’t have the whole design end. I just slapped that shit on after the fact and have pretty much ruined it with my latest round of changes.
Shit, how do I wrap this up? What am I looking for from you? I wish I knew. I didn’t even plan on writing this, it just kind of happened. Maybe I should keep this up in a series of posts - Memoirs of a Scatter Brained Freelancing Gamer. Anyway, I’m heading out of town this weekend for a few days and I seriously can’t wait to leave everything behind. I was going to take my Xbox 360, but I think I’m going to leave it after all. A complete change of pace is in need.
27 people have had something to contribute so far.
Dude, I totally understand what you mean. Both my websites are in dire need of a redesign, one of them even has an HTML template sitting in my “Personal Work” folder, but I just don’t have the time to get it done. Work takes up the majority of my time, and then my free time is spent as far away from a computer as I can to spend it with the missus, or sneaking in a bit of 360 when I can.
I’m also taking off for the weekend…Heading to the mountains, no computer, no laptop, no 360, just the outdoors and all the time in the world. I can’t wait…
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Heh… I guess I need to get myself a 360… or atleast play one. Have a great weekend, it’s time to un-wind
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Dude. Your just like me. In everyway, I love my 360 too.
I love this site, the look and feel has inspired me for my site.
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I’ve been telling you this for years man, you totally need to get to a point where you do more shit for yourself. I could never handle going at it like you do, because i would definitely lose it.
A good band practice will straighten you out, at least temporarily.
Fret not duder, everything will make sense one day, till then just keep on truckin’
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Totally agree. Only difference is that I need to design my site from the ground up for the first time.
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First of all Matt, let me just say that I have no idea what it’s like to do the work from home thing AND have to keep a family together. That’s tough, but you seem to be doing a pretty damn good job.
For me, I stay busy with my job, my side projects, but I get out Mondays to play volleyball and Wednesdays to play kickball (yes, kickball) just to make sure I get some fun in twice a week.
As far as your site goes, I can understand how you feel the need to redesign it after only a year or so. But honestly, you don’t need to. Your site is pretty rock solid, and even though I say that and you see 10 things you want to change, I wouldn’t make it a priority. Seriously.
Anyway, go have fun. Get away from the computer, the Xbox, the apartment. Remember what it’s like to live a different life for once.
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Dude…you know what might be the solution to this little rut? Maybe you need to get excited about a bad-ass world-changing project again.
I’ve seen that happen to you once…personally. Why can’t it happen again?
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I feely your pain. and reading all the comments there is a lot of us out there. Not sure if that helps your situation. I work for a church doing communications so I have the same hours but with out the same pay. I have a personal blog sitting in cyber space that only kind of works in one browser and i haven’t touched it since i put in on the server. I am more like a creative director or project manager so at least i don’t have to think in code all day. dude for what ever it’s worth i’ll pray for you and your family. family is important. somtimes i feel like i don’t event know my own wife because of all the hours. be encouraged your site is inspiring.
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Yet another reason I love my job. It’s a wonderful thing being able to leave at 6pm and just be done.
Then again, I do feel your pain. It’s as if whenever I feel like I have free time I feel the need to fill it up somehow with some stupid ass personal project or promising a relative a website for some reason.
Ah well, life is good. Just don’t forget to mix it up now and then, and always keep pushing yourself. That’s what keeps me on the edge. I’m fine working 60 hour weeks if the end result is awesome and something that challenges me.
Damn, I need to stop rambling like this. Rock on.
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I’d say, that’s just my life.
The day ends always too soon, the night is too short, life floats away every minute, and I just can’t fuckin’ stop it.
Working on my portfolio… right, never got time to do this, always something else.
Damn. Life is too short for this, but hell.. who’s gonna’ pay the bills right?
A weekend off might be a good idea - have a lot of fun, and for heaven’s sake - DON’T TAKE THE 360 WITH YOU
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Clean out your feeds! I did this a couple weeks ago and haven’t looked back.
It feels great!
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Take this as constructive criticism - you need to work on your time management. Designate time for everything you want to designate time for. It sounds hardcore ‘plans’, but if we don’t make time for these things, shit just happens in a blur.
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Dude (i’d be breaking the chain) - this site IS rock solid (like Patrick says), so I wouldnt stress over that - on that same note though, it does feel very nice to clean up, and re-organize your site from the bottom up and feels good to design fed from true inspiration, instead of the usual client-based inspiration (Theres a difference in my opinion).
I put out better work if it is on my own time, from my own inspiration, and my own idea. I’m sure I’m not alone.
Another note - maybe all those emails, and not checking your feed reader might have something to do with the feeling of “Missing the boat” or unorganized.
I might not have a massive blog like you or a massive client list either, but I couldn’t imagine not checking my email box every morning…?? how do you NOT do that? Answering them ALL is another story…and maybe thats what you meant.
At anyrate - keep up the good work, and getting away from everything will be kickass for sure.
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Sounds familiar. I’m trying to get enough freelance work lined up to quit my day job, and it’s been insane trying to work fulltime while spending my off time looking and doing freelance stuff. I’m also still working on a side project site that I’m trying to crank out.
It’s really too much, but I have a goal and that is to change my life so I’m “Working to live” instead of “Living to work”.
It sounds to me like it’s time to raise your rates. haha
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Wow, 14 comments over night. I appreciate your support and advice - so thanks for that! I must say, I didn’t expect a reaction like this. I thought for sure someone would call me a whiny bitch.
Anyway, I really am looking forward to getting away from it all this weekend. I’m dog sitting for my Mom who has 3 boxers and I can’t wait to see them. Love those dogs!
@Patrick: Yeah, I could definitely use regularly scheduled activities. I’ve tried this, but right it just doesn’t work with our current schedules. Monday-Thursday is pretty much a write off and since my family hardly has more than a handful of hours together during the week, we spend most of our weekend together. There just isn’t time for much else. The last thing I want to do when I finally have a break and am able to kick back with my family, is leave them to go and do something on my own.
@Justin: You know, it’s really hard for me to get excited about anything. No matter how “cool” it might be. It all just means more work in the long run. I currently have 2 active projects of my own and a few others that have been kicked to the sidelines. All of which are awesome ideas and would definitely fly, but I just don’t have the time or the drive to crank them out. I even recruited a few other dudes for one of them, but we’re all basically in the same boat so it’s just sitting there stagnant.
@Kyle: Sounds like you’ve got a good gig there dude. I’ve done a couple freelance jobs for agencies and totally hated the experience. It must be different when you’re a full time employee, or maybe I just worked with the wrong agencies.
PS. Warpspire looks great in pink!
@Tony: Good call - that’s definitely a big one. I actually keep my feeds to a minimum. If I find myself marking “all as read” for any given feed more than once without actually skimming the articles, I remove it.
@Josh: I think that’s part of my problem - but not that I don’t manage my time well, that I have every hour of my day accounted for. It’s a drag waking up knowing exactly what you’re doing until your head hits the pillow 17-18 hours later.
@Matt Johnson: Closing down my email client is one of the best habits I’ve picked up over the past few months. It’s the only way I can truly get things done uninterrupted. I read a good article a few months ago by Ryan Carson where he outlines some good habits for being more efficient and productive. I normally check it once in the morning and give myself half an hour with it. Then again after lunch and once in the evening. While I’m working away everything is closed but Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Firefox and iTunes.
@ThomW: I actually don’t feel like I’m “living to work” and I think that’s because I have all the family stuff going on as well. If I were on my own, I bet I wouldn’t see the light of day.
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Hmm, I suppose - like I said I dont have a sick blog or a huge list of needy clients so I’m sure that makes a huge difference and I could see your logic there. Makes sense.
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I feel the same way at times. I feel like I’m in “prep” life waiting for really life to take shape. Real like being my own design / photography studio…maybe that’s what you need a place to work outside your apartment.
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Oh yes i felt similar few months ago. When you are a freelancer you are always “in job”. But you don’t need to wake up early
Every thing has good and bad sites. Take a few days free and don’t think about you PC. Perhaps it will help.
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As Ze Frank puts it, “Bust that cycle.”
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You’re being a whiny bitch — but aren’t we all sometimes?
Have you thought about incorporating? Find people you want to work with who have different strengths and go for it. They code, you do CSS, someone else does logo/branding work. Ideally you’d be able to take on more clients *and* free up some personal time for whats important.
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what about another reboot?
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Just sent you a mail. Hope you’ll have time to read it.
Your friend,
Volkher
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Matt, I think I hear you loud and clear here..
I just had one or two months, where I couldnt even find the time, nor the energy, to do something as simple as updating my blog. Workload just kept increasing and increasing, and I seriously felt that no matter what I did, I was always trying to catch up. I never really felt in control. Being promoted to manager at the same time just increased the hours even more.
What I did to sortta regain control, will sound amazingly lame: routines. I get up one hour earlier in the morning, and go the gym. Yes, it sounds lame, but seriosuly - I have so much energy now.
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Theres never enough time for everything in life, it sucks really…
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I know what will lift your spirits….a Nov.1st Reboot.
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Yeah, nobody likes FrankenCode…
I work at a job where constant revisions are necessary(?) and as a result, I’m left with hideous monster code.
Gives me trouble sleeping at night…
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On the site redesign front I’d say don’t do it.
1. Your site looks great.
2. Your site works. Right? If it ain’t broke …
3. You’re busy moving forward and booked solid on paying work.
4. As a designer you will always want to redesign every site you ever made, especially your own site. This is just a part of being a designer and I say make hay while the sun shines. Your site was commended for many good reasons and those reasons are just as valid now as they were then. I say time is precious and the clock is ticking … spend it carefully.
Thats my 10 cents worth. All the best.
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